How Not To Draft - The JP Ross Story

Those of you who are fans of FRATasy Sports may be familiar with our 3^rd most talented writer (we have 3 writers) and self-proclaimed funny guy (he isn’t funny), FantsySportsNow aka JP Ross. Yes, he is a fantasy sports writer who can’t even spell F-A-N-T-A-S-Y correctly. Well we had a draft last night with some other guys and, no surprise, the shit talking has already begun.  

I took Ray Rice with the 1^st overall pick which has left some guys shaking their heads. I have this personal thing against Foster since I told a guy about him last year and he snaked him from me in the draft. We’re also in a PPR league so I like the chances of Rice catching a shit ton of balls as opposed to AP. Oh, and for those of you who aren’t aware, McGahee is gone and Sticky Ricky doesn’t scare me. So I got to pick whoever I wanted and I did. Doubt it? Explain to me why in December. 

Anyway, let’s take a look at this kid so you know who I’m talking about. 

No, that’s not a recent picture. But he only looks about 3 days older and a bit more retarded. 

So with my 1^st pick being the “controversial” one, let’s take a look at how his draft went down round by round.

1. Michael Vick – Obviously the schmuck didn’t read the article I wrote a few weeks ago. The now 100 million dollar man is one hell of an athlete but also one hell of an injury risk to spend a 1^st round pick on. But hell, I thought he was going to take a kicker here so at least there’s that.

2. Frank Gore – He follows up one newly negotiated injury risk with another. Frank Gore can be a great back but he’s got to have his pads on to post numbers.

3. Reggie Wayne – I’m really down on Wayne this year. When it comes to PPR leagues I barely get him inside my top 20 WRs. Oh, and for those of you who don’t remember Peyton will probably not be throwing to him week 1 and even when he’s back he’s going to take a while to warm up.

4. DeSean Jackson – This is when I really started to doubt he remembered this was PPR. The guy is all about the long ball but doesn’t exactly rack up the receptions (He had 47 last year). And with Maclin, and newly acquired Steve Smith, that number will probably be about the same in 2011. 

5.  Dallas Clark – Considered by most to be one of the best TEs in the league. He looked great last year before leaving after game 6 with an injury. I don’t really have anything bad on Dallas so I’m just going to cross my fingers he gets injured again. No offense Clark. 

6. Ryan Grant – Holy Hospital Batman! He follows up the Gore pick to back him up with a guy who had 8 carries in 2010 before limping out of the picture. There were rumors in the offseason he wouldn’t even be on Green Bay’s roster come 2011 and is currently battling Starks for the starting gig.

7. BenJarvus Green-Ellis – Some douche bags find referring to his name as some kind of law firm as funny. For that I vote this pick a complete fail. 

8. A.J. Green – The kid was a stud at Georgia but don’t expect this rookie to be putting up numbers like Tampa Bay’s rookie Mike Williams did last year. Rookie WRs rarely make a fantasy impact, especially when rookie QBs are slinging them the rock.

9. Eli Manning - I expect a better year from Eli despite being a turnover machine last year. He’s thrown a lot of picks this preseason relative to the time he’s spent in games. On this pick he passes. Psych! JP sucks and so does his team.

10. Daniel Thomas – Ah, finally this hopeless Miami fan picks a hometown favorite. Well, from the looks of it, Reggie Bush may be making a much bigger impact this year. I was high on Thomas early in the year but now I am really doubting his ability to make an impact, barring injury.

11. Pierre Thomas – Taking guys that run the ball on a team that uses four backs isn’t usually the best idea. Especially considering he took a guy who will probably the 3^rd most valuable back on his team. Rookie Mark Ingram and, former Charger, Darren Sproles will most likely be Brees’ new favorite target out of the backfield.

12. Jordy Nelson – Nelson is considered by some to be the ‘Welker of Lambeau’.  In Nelson’s career he has 100 receptions and 6 touchdowns over three years. Those numbers sound more like one year for Welker and since the season doesn’t last three years I’ll pass on Nelson.

13. New Orleans Defense – Picking a defense forced to face Green Bay, Indianapolis, Detroit, the Giants, and Houston is questionable at best. Oh, and they have to face the Bucs and Falcons TWICE. That sounds bad, especially with San Diego still on the board.

14. Matt Bryant – Yes, he took a kicker in round 14 out of 16. Anyone who has graduated 4^th grade or played fantasy football more than once knows not to take a kicker so early. And for the love of God, if you’re going to take a kicker this early you can do better than Matt Bryant.

15. Rob Gronkowski – He took Rob here at 15 and passed on Aaron Hernandez who is Brady’s favored target at TE (and who I picked 1 round later). He must be rooting for guys on my team to get injured too. Nice pick dumbass.

16. Emmanuel Sanders – He might be listed as the 3^rd WR for Pittsburgh but for those of you who have seen what Antonio Brown can do for you (shout out to UPS) know that he probably won’t be making headlines in the Steel City.

If I wasn’t clear enough above, his team sucks. If there was a trophy for running your mouth in the preseason he’d be the champion hands down. But I don’t remember anyone winning the Super Bowl in August. Let’s just consider FantsySportsNow the Dallas Cowboys of fantasy teams.

Oh, and for the record, he did the same thing for fantasy baseball and he’s going to finish the year in last place and 0-3 against my team. Fantasy football won’t be any different.

PS. Only a few hours after this was written, Arian Foster is now likely to be out for the first few weeks of the season with a hamstring injury. Note: Injuries to the ol' hammy don't exactly go away during the season. 

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Top Fantasy Football Team Names

The Jersey LeShoure

Burrested Development

Edward Forte Hands

Drinking Fortes

Smoking DrewBrees and a Blount

Devin Hesterhoff

Baby Back Cribbs

Beef O’Brady

Mr. Rogers Neighborhood

Dez Nuts

Calvin & The Chipmunks

Charles In Charge

Rice, Rice, Baby

Easy, Breesy, Beautiful, Cover Girl

WWJD – What Would Jones-Drew

Beanie Babies

Arian Race

I’m a Man! I’m Forte!

Over the Hillis

Over the Rivers and through the Woodhead

Schuaby Seconds

Crosby’s Puddin’ Pops

The Dirty Sanchez

The King & His Cassel

Its (Heath) Miller Time

Marion Barber Shop

She Gives Woodhead

Special thanks to @FantsySportsNow for the help in creating the list!

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Fantasy Football Draft Day Rules

1.  “Protection from who? Zee Germans?”

Handcuffing your star players is considered a necessity by most guys. It’s an insurance policy that for most can come at a high price. Guys drafting someone with an injury history like Maurice ‘The Hyphen’ Jones-Drew should probably go ahead and snatch Rashard Jennings so they’re prepared when disaster strikes. But the guy who spends a pick on Adrian ‘All-Day’ Peterson’s backup, Toby Gerhart, would probably have found it just as useful to forfeit his pick for priority on waivers in week 3. Everyone becomes a victim to the game and by week 3 all those back-up RBs have been dumped for slot receivers or an additional Tight End. So when it comes to picking a handcuff, take a pass this time. In the end, handcuffs seem to do just what their name entails when it comes to team impact. 

2. “Mamma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get.”

It is nearly impossible to predict how your board is going to play out. The key to winning your draft is to be prepared for however it is going to fall. Everyone has favorites and as I will explain later why I don’t believe in ‘reaching’ but knowing how the draft is going to play out can give you a great idea as to where certain guys are going in drafts so you know when to pounce.  Knowing you can wait an extra round or two on a guy you’re in love with can help you pick up extra value. Same thing goes when a guy you have marked up is typically going earlier than expected. Then you’ll know to pull the trigger a little faster and have your team grow the way you wanted.

3. “Don’t knock masturbation. It’s sex with someone I love.”

Like I mentioned before, I don’t believe in reaching for players. If you think a guy like Ray Rice is going to out-perform Adrian Peterson or Larry Fitz is going to make more big plays than Megatron, then there is no shame in plucking them off of the board first. I’m not saying to go grab the Lion’s defense in the 3^rd round because you’re a die-hard Detroit fan (which someone did in one of my leagues today). Just feel comfortable in taking a player you are confident in and leave the doubters scratching their heads come playoff time. 

4. “Those who are tardy do not get a fruit cup.”

In every draft during the middle few rounds there will be a few runs at certain positions. Guys will periodically be picking running backs and receivers throughout the draft but the other positions will get their share of positions runs. The key to these runs is to make sure you’re at the start of it. When somebody takes Antonio Gates you can expect a run on Tight Ends for the next few picks. Then, following the Steelers, the next few guys are going to grab defenses in a panic. Unless you start the run (or are the 2^nd/3^rd guy in the run) LEAVE IT ALONE. Fantasy football works on a tier system. Guys like Gates, Clark, Witten, and Finley are the top tier of TEs so if you don’t get on the them then there is no reason to snatch up a middle guy when you can find value at other positions. So let the other guys burn themselves with wasted picks they could match rounds later simply because a few guys decided to jump at one position. 

5. “Greed, for lack of a better word, is good.”

Some people will pass on a stud running back or star receiver simply because they have the position filled. In your fantasy football drafts you can make a killing drafting that guy instead of passing him over for someone just to fill a roster spot. The move to take the better known ‘Best Available’ as opposed to the filler works best when you take the tier system approach I referred to earlier.  Taking a top tier WR over one of the middle tier RBs will always be beneficial in the long run. There is no such thing as too much of a good thing and this is no exception. If VJax or DBowe are starring you in the face, don’t pass on them simply because you need a LeGarrette Blount or Cedric Benson to fill your lineup. 

6. “They just hate me ‘cause they ain’t me.”

Shit talking is part of the draft. No matter what you do or who you take people are going to try to bring you down or make you doubt your picks. More often than not (unless you’re the a**hole in my league that took Detroit in round 3) the guy bashing your pick was praying that guy was coming back around to him. Have confidence in your picks and hold to your guns. If you made the pick you wanted to in that situation then throw the rest of the room the finger and remind him of the pick some December. 

7. “Time is a precious thing. Never waste it.”

Bye weeks are easily one of those things no one pays attention to come draft day. There are a few ways to attack the bye week problem. Some people like to load up players on a certain week and essentially sacrifice that week for the sake of running full-steam the rest of the year. Others like to make sure they’re only missing a guy or two each week. Both strategies are effective if used properly but can be tricky to try to execute. The really important thing is to make sure that those guys riding pine won’t be doing so during your star player’s bye week. I’ve seen it happen to plenty of guys who use a high pick to take a quality backup QB only to realize they have the same bye and now they’re playing Alex Smith in week 8. 

8. “In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women. ”

There seems to be a history of guys who succeed when their next contract is right around the corner. There is also a history of guys who just signed a big number deal flopping the next year. Motivation can be a huge factor for the success of an NFL player. Prime example: Albert Haynesworth, former star of the Tennessee Titans, who signed a 7-year, $100 million contract and then dropped off the face of the earth. Jamarcus Russell, former 1^st round pick of the Oakland Raiders signed a $61 million contract and never had a successful play in the NFL. Chris Johnson on the other hand signed a 5 year contract worth nearly $7 million and is now in a hold out because he’s earned the paycheck on the field. SPOILER ALERT: By the time CJ2K re-laces his pads he’ll probably be the highest paid running back in the league. 

9. “Kid can’t even read. T-T-T-TODAY Junior!”

For those of you who will not be drafting in one of those online chat rooms and may be forced to actually interact with other individuals, you’re going to want to ensure you know the names of the guys you are drafting. In order to avoid the T.J. Who’sYourMomma fiasco of 2008, do a little homework and come to the draft prepared. No one wants to be ‘That Guy’ come draft day. Now saying it wrong won’t mean you lose your pick but you may just lose your dignity. When it doubt, just write it up on the board and let some other a**hole stutter through the name. Then you can chime in with the rest of the group and ruin that guy’s draft day.

10. “If winning isn’t everything, why do they keep score?”

Know the scoring of your league. If it is PPR (Point Per Reception) then those guys who are going to grab nearly 100 balls a year should shoot up on your scouting reports. Receivers and scat backs become a far bigger asset on your team. If passing touchdowns count for as much as rushing and receiving touchdowns then a top tier QB is a must-own. Knowing what is going to count in your league is vital to a successful season. Take a good look at the scoring settings before entering your draft. When it comes down to two guys when it’s your turn to draft, you’ll probably have a much easier time deciding if you know what the scoring settings on your league are. 

Got other Fantasy Football Draft Day Rules? Comment below and tell us what you think is a must for the draft!

-X

Terrelle Pryor to the Raiders

The most anticipated supplemental draft pick in, well ever; the infamous Terrelle Pryor will now be sporting the Silver & Black. Oakland was the only team to draft someone in the supplemental draft. Pryor will now take the spot of the Raiders 3^rd round pick next year. The NFL has also decided to enforce a 5 game suspension on Pryor in an unprecedented move. The NFL’s suspension is in response to the suspension Pryor would have served for NCAA player violations, had he returned to the Ohio State University.

The pick is really no surprise to those who have followed the NFL drafts of the past. Al Davis, Raiders’ owner, has an obvious infatuation with tall, well-built, athletes who can run under a 4.40 (Pryor ran a 4.36 at his pro day). His past selections at wideout, Heyward-Bay, Ford, & Van Dyke have all run sub-4.30s. Pryor stated prior to the draft that he would be willing to play receiver and, after watching this play, I have no doubt about his ability to do so. The man is an undeniable athlete whose skills will probably be best displayed at wide out.

The only question for Pryor is, will the ‘black hole’ for talented receivers drag Pryor down too?

Tell us what impact you think Pryor will have below!

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The Best Quarterback of All-Time: By You, For You

@Kennedy76ca : My vote is John Elway

@HeelsAndYanks : John elway!

@SportsTalkTVEE : Brady...But if i was starting a team, I start with Favre

@FantasySixPack : Without doing any research, Joe Montana

@EndzoneDancers : this one's easy, Joe Montana of course

@FantsySportsNow : Marino hands down. Best pure passer of all time.

@NFL_Addict : Best QB Montana #NFL with 4 SuperBowl Rings & Clutch

 

@FFootballCS : Joe Montana

Dexters_Library  : Haha. Brady is our pick. #DrugFreeistheWayforMe

 

@fantfoottalk : My Pick.. Joe Montana.. 15 Years, 40K Yards, 273 TDs to 139 INTs, topped with 4 Super Bowls with a 100+ QB Rating in each.

@NJFFL : Joe Montana

@FantasyFBinfo : Jon Kitna haha kidding. Dan Marino


@FantasyFools : Of all-time? That's hard to say. Is "the one on my fantasy team" a valid answer? But Of current NFL QBs, Peyton has always struck me as the best pure quarterback in my mind. But Brady is in the discussion. 

@sgffl : Suppose Elway is a pretty good start, Farve played for so long, & in terrible weather city

@FFootball101 : Joe Montana! Just win!

For me: I'm torn between Joe Montana and Tom Brady. Right now, it is Montana. But to me the way Tom Brady wins games absolutely blows me away. Montana was the best QB who had the best WR of All-Time. That's the thing there. Apart from one year with Moss, Brady has always been surrounded by a cast of guys that you've never heard of and, simply because it is Tom Brady, we all expect him to win the Super Bowl. #TomTerrific

Got an idea you want us to hear about?! Mention @FRATasySports on Twitter and or comment it below!

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Down & Out: Ryan Williams Tears Patella Tendon.

Early in the second half of Arizona’s preseason game against the Green Bay Packers, Packers’ safety Anthony Levine brought Ryan Williams down to the turf and he stayed there. Reports say that Williams ruptured his patella tendon and will most likely miss the entire season. During the free agency period the Cards dealt Tim Hightower to the Washington Redskins for DE Vonnie Holiday and a future draft pick. This trade now appears to be disastrous.

The Cardinals must now rely on Chris Beanie Wells who in two seasons has amassed just shy of 1,200 rushing yards and 9 total touchdowns. LaRod Stephens-Howling, the now back up to Wells, has a hair over 100 rushing yards and only 2 total scores in two career seasons. Based on these two stellar résumés, the Cardinals are going to have to make a move for a RB. With guys like Tiki Barber, Dominic Rhodes, Brian Westbrook, and Fred Taylor making up the ‘talent’ available in free agency, that move is most likely going to have to come in the form of a trade.

The Dallas Cowboys’ Tashard Choice could be an option for the Cardinals. The Cowboys’ drafted Oklahoma RB DeMarco Murray and have second year RB Lonyae Miller to back up Felix Jones so the idea of dealing Choice is not that farfetched.

The Carolina Panthers’ are certainly a candidate with RB Mike Goodson sitting as #3 on their depth chart. DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart will dominate nearly every carry Newton gives and Goodson is purely their insurance policy. Goodson took about 100 carries for over 450 yards last year and found the endzone 3 times. His flashes of talent near the end of the year are probably enough to entice an offer from the Birds in the Desert.

Who do you think will step up to take the place of Ryan Williams? Post a comment and let me know!

-X

Aaron Maybin to the Jets

Today, August 17^th, the New York Jets have signed, former Bills DE, Aaron Maybin. For some reason there seems to be a bit of buzz about this deal and for the life of me I can’t figure out why. Maybin, out of the Penn State University, was selected 11^th overall by the Buffalo Bills in the 2009 NFL Draft. In his two short years as a Bill he recorded only 24 tackles. When it comes to sacks, well Maybin hasn’t recorded a sack since he was a Nittany Lion. The Jets released their 2008 Draft bust, Vernon Gholston, earlier in the off season. Gholston also hasn’t recorded a sack since his college days. Both Maybin and Gholston have all the natural talent to be great Defensive Ends in the league but something appears to be wrong with both of them. While Gholston has now moved on to Chicago, the Jets’ acquisition of Maybin simply means they’ve gone from bad to worse.

The Jets made a lot of great signs during free agency including sharpshooter Plaxico Burress and re-signing guys like Cromartie and Holmes but the Maybin signing is just confusing. The only conclusion I can make from this is that Maybin must have some beautiful feet. We all know how Rex feels about a great set of hooves. 

 

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